


Nothing to Lose and Nothing to Find

by isleysister



Series: Loud Places [4]
Category: Still Star-Crossed (TV)
Genre: Childhood, F/M, Modern AU, they're small and precious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 14:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13813533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isleysister/pseuds/isleysister
Summary: Benvolio's father and Rosaline's mother bring music into their lives.





	Nothing to Lose and Nothing to Find

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Those were the days by Angel Olsen!  
> Hmu @stillnotoverstillstarcrossed on tumblr!

Late in the evening, Benvolio was sleeping soundly under his race car printed covers. That is until the sound of a strumming guitar woke him. Accompanied by the tenderly plucked instrument was a voice. A voice so hoarse and familiar it could only belong to his father.

Benvolio wiped his bleary eyes with the back of his hand and squirmed with excitement. He swung his short legs off the bed and hopped down. Stepping over the pile of crayons and crumpled paper on his floor, Benvolio opened his door and bounded down the narrow hallway.

He knew he was making too much noise. Just the other day he’d gotten in trouble for waking up the neighbors as he roughhoused with Romeo in their game of paper ball soccer. Living in a compact, thin-walled apartment building was going to take some getting used to.

“I don’t know what this is all about,” Romeo had said with a frustrated pout after their warning. “But this move is seriously cutting into our training schedule.”

Benvolio still wasn’t so sure why his dad had moved out of their old house himself. All he was sure of was that Uncle Damiano was not too happy with his father and that Dad didn’t get up at the crack of dawn for work anymore. Instead, they’d moved to a small apartment a few minutes away from the Montague Mansion and Dad slept in till 10. Benvolio didn’t mind the sleeping in part. The “living so close to people who looked at him strangely every time he went outside” part was not to his liking though. But he knew his Dad was really stressed out these days. Best to not make any more trouble.

Benvolio quieted his steps and padded much more softly around the corner. He finally entered the small kitchen and spotted his father, sat on a stool next to the counter. He was in ratty old pajamas and had a guitar in hand. He was softly singing a song Benvolio hadn’t heard before. His fingers twitched with excitement.

Benvolio slowly walked around the counter and cleared his throat, trying to catch his father’s attention. His father gave Benvolio a comically wide-eyed look and his playing came to a stop. Benvolio tried to keep a straight face, but his father was too funny. Benvolio giggled softly and gave in to a toothy smile.

“Benvolio Chase Montague,” his dad said with a stern shake of the head that Ben knew wasn’t genuine. “What on earth are you doing up? It’s late!”

          “You woke me up.” Ben nodded his head towards the guitar and began to swing his arms from side to side.

            “Hmm, so it’s always my fault, is it?” Dad said. His strict face dropped and melted into a fond one. He held the guitar against his chest with one hand and ran the other one through his greying blonde hair. “I expect you won’t go back to bed until you’ve gotten a whole performance. Am I correct in that assumption, Mr. Montague?”

            Benvolio gleefully nodded his head in confirmation. His father hummed and motioned for Benvolio to grab another stool. Benvolio quickly did so and faced his father expectantly, legs kicking in anticipation. His dad ruffled his tiny curls and smiled.

            “Any request?” his dad asked with a dramatic twirl of his hand. Benvolio rolled his eyes and sighed. Dad did this every time. Benvolio never understood what the point was. There was only one song it could possibly be.

            His dad saw Benvolio’s exasperated reaction and nodded.

            “Of course, of course, how foolish of me! Mom’s song it is.”

            All the tension in Benvolio’s body vanished as his father’s calloused hands played the first few notes. His dad began to sing:

_The carpet still holds_

_The shape of your feet_

_From the last time I saw you_

_When you walked away from me_

_Oh, Annie_

_What’s it all been for?_

_If I told you I was changing_

_Would you love me more?_

Each word that came out wrapped Benvolio up in a blanket of warmth, despite the sad lyrics.

            He didn’t fully understand why his mother had written such a sad song. The song’s namesake,“Annie”, a woman who had left her lover devastated, seemed so unlike his her kind soul and beaming smile.

But Benvolio never paid much attention to that part. His mind was too focused on his parents who’d sing it to him, their voices melting together like sweet honey. Even after his mother had died, his father continued to play it. While the absence of his mother’s voice was heavily felt, the fact that it was still _her_ song brought Benvolio much comfort.

            At some point, Benvolio had closed his eyes and laid his cheek against the cool marble of the kitchen counter. Soon the song came to an end with a few final strums of his dad’s guitar.         

            He gently shook Benvolio’s shoulder.

            “That’s the show, kid. Time for bed.”

            Benvolio didn’t bother to open his eyes. His father sighed knowingly, and Ben heard the guitar being put down on the floor. His dad’s hands scooped him up off the stool.

            “You’re getting a little old for this, Benny,” he said wearily as he made his way back to Benvolio’s bedroom.  “I won’t be able to carry you much longer.”

            “I’m only 7,” Benvolio mumbled into his dad’s shoulder.

            “Yeah, well when I was 7…” Dad went into some rambling story about his youth that Benvolio was too tired to follow. He was probably lying anyway.

            Moments later, Benvolio’s body was met with the soft covers of his bed once more. Dad pressed a kiss into his hair and tucked him in.

“Love you, kid,” he said with one last adjustment of the covers before he left the room.

Benvolio quickly slipped back into sleep. He dreamed of two figures. One with scruffy blonde curls, the other with fiery red hair so long it reached her waist. The figures danced together to soft music as Benvolio drew a picture of them with his crayons.

 

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The T.V. lit up the dark living room, as Rosaline, Livia, and Juliet laid piled on top of each other on the couch. Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner had just kissed passionately. Juliet and Livia tried to cover their giggles with their hands. Rosaline only rolled her eyes. It was just a kiss. Not a big deal. But her sister and Livia were infinitely amused by the scene, no matter how many times they watched the movie.

            “Can you both please HUSH?” Rosaline asked with her arms stretched out wide in frustration. “The kiss doesn’t even matter, it’s the song that’s important!”

            “Ros, calm down, it’s not like you don’t play it alllllll the time!” Juliet said, throwing her body off the couch dramatically. “I’ve heard it so many times I just might die.”

            “I do not!” Rosaline said, looking to Livia for backup. “Right?”

Livia avoided her eyes and pretended to suddenly be very interested in the movie again.

            “Whatever, just be quiet, _please_!” she demanded. Whitney was already on the stage. Rosaline’s heart beat faster in anticipation.

            Just as the song was starting though, the front door swung open. Rosaline readied her mouth to complain but quickly closed it when she realized who it was.

            “Mom!” Livia and Rosaline chanted. They both scurried to give her a hug.

            Their mother stood at the entrance, wrapped up in a fluffy white coat that beautifully contrasted her dark skin and thick brown curls. She looked as stunning as ever as she smiled widely, dimples forming in her cheeks. She knelt to the ground to meet them.

            “My beautiful babies! How I’ve missed you all!” she said as her arms enwrapped them and rocked them back and forth.

            Rosaline closed her eyes and breathed in her mother’s sweet cinnamon-scented perfume. Her body relaxed in her mom’s arms, the worry over missing the song now far from her mind.

            Her mother pulled back slowly and searched for Juliet.

            “Jules, you’re my baby too, get in here!”

Juliet laughed and made her way into the group hug.

            “How did the doctor go, mommy?” Livia asked into her mother’s shoulder, ending Rosaline’s small moment of peace.

            She knew eventually someone would ask but the idea that something was wrong with her mom wasn’t something Rosaline liked to even consider. They had already lost their dad not too long ago. Losing her mother and being left completely alone was a scenario Rosaline only thought about late at night when her thoughts wouldn’t quiet. So, much too often.

            Their mother smiled sadly and looked down at the floor. Instead of answering, she rose up and made her way to the couch to take a seat. The girls quickly followed and piled around her.

            “Well,” she began. Her voice sounded like she was worried but trying to cover it up with being strong. Rosaline had heard this voice before, and the memory made her heart sink.

            “The doctor said Mommy’s got a few teeny tiny issues with her heart.”

            Rosaline saw Livia’s lip tremble. She reached for Liv’s hand and squeezed.

            “But, that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world! I’m going back in for a few more appointments and I’m going to fight this! Remember what Dad used to always say?”

            The girls remained silent, too wrapped up with worry to answer her. Mom shook her head and gently put her hand on Rosaline’s face.

            “Ros, I know you know it! Come on, I need to hear you say it.”

Rosaline looked into her mother’s imploring eyes and relented. She had promised her father before he died that she would be strong for Mom and Livia. Rosaline always kept her promises.

            “Quit don’t exist,” Rosaline said quietly, holding her mother’s gaze.

            “That’s right! Quit don’t exist-not for me and not for any of you. I’m not going anywhere!”

She brought them all in for one more hug before letting go.  Rosaline’s poor heart finally started to calm down a bit. She knew her mother always kept her promises too.

            “Now, I see you all are watching my favorite movie…without me?” Mom said with a wiggle of her eyebrows. That got all the girls laughing again.

            “Ros put it on again!” Livia laughed and pointed at Rosaline.

            “She kept telling _us_ to hush but she was singing every single song!” Juliet added with a dramatic flip of her hair.  Rosaline’s face heated up as she crossed her arms in annoyance.

            “You guys are such liars,” Rosaline said as she looked up at the ceiling. She felt her mom’s hand touch her shoulder, trying to reassure her.

            “Well, I think that’s something I’d love to see. We all know Rosaline’s got a be-u-ti-ful voice, right girls?” she said in a singsong voice. She winked at Rosaline and turned toward Livia and Juliet with a stern look in her eyes.

            “Rosaline, would you mind doing a second rendition for your mom? Please, please, please?” Mom asked, her voice getting higher and higher with each _please_. Before Rosaline could even say no, her mother reached for her and began to tickle her.            

            Rosaline shook with laughter and begged for mercy. Instead, the tickling was made worse as Liv and Jules joined in.

            “Okay, okay! I’ll sing!” Rosaline yelled through her giggles, not able to take any more torture.

            Her mom simply smiled in response and released her from the tickle fest. Rosaline brushed herself off and walked towards the T.V. She restarted the tape back to the beginning and hit play. Quickly, she rejoined her mom and the girls back on the red velvet couch. She laid her head on her mother’s lap and let the movie’s fuzzy screen and Whitney’s voice take her away.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! comments are very much appreciated!


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